“The formalities of refined society were at first established for the purpose of facilitating the intercourse of persons of the same standing, and increasing the happiness of all to whom they apply. They are now kept up, both to assist the convenience of intercourse and to prevent too great familiarity. If they are carried too far, and escape from the control of good sense, they become impediments to enjoyment.”
Munsey’s Magazine November 1897 Edition
Discretion is the foundation of all reason. You could be a great athlete or a musician but without discretion a person’s actions will always be imperfect. Discretion is necessary to have good judgement, so you are discreet in talk and manners. Be emotionless, cry and complain at home not in public. This will show others that you make responsible decisions in your personal life and you will not create a scandal to embarrass friends, family, employers, or clients.
“Be without passions. This is the highest quality of the mind. Its very eminence redeems us from being affected by transient and low impulses. There is no higher rule than that over oneself, over one’s impulses: there is triumph of free will. When passion rules your character do not let it threaten your position, especially if it is a high one. It is the only refined way of avoiding trouble and the shortest way back to a good reputation.”
Gracian Pg 8 The Art of Worldly Wisdom
Reason before action, use your brain and have patience. Don’t become over-anxious or lose your cool. Losing your cool produces hasty action and anything you do in haste is bound to have unwanted consequences.